Funnybones: The Humorous Horror Fiction of Paul Kane
isbn 1894953142 (paperback)
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Paul Kane - author of Alone (in the Dark) and Touching the Flame - has returned, not to terrify this time, but to tickle the funnybone. Inside this book you'll find a collection of his most outrageous humorous horror, with stories ranging from "Dracula in Love" to "The Last Temptation of Alice Crump"...and not forgetting fan favourite "The Bones Brothers."
Funnybones also includes several of the adventures of Dalton Quayle, that most famous of supernatural detectives.
Before you can say, "Please for the love of God, no more, my belly," Master of the Farce Paul Kane will have you laughing out loud and embarrassing yourself on the bus. IMPORTANT: Do not read while drinking milk.
Hank was very surprised to see the car pull up outside his house.
It wasn't so much the unearthly noise it made, all screeching tyres and sirens; or the fact that it was constructed almost entirely out of bones — human bones as far as he could tell, painted black and white; or because it appeared out of nowhere in a brilliant flash of light.
No, it was more a case of the music that accompanied its arrival. Like a kind of da-da-da-da-diddle-de-da-da over and over and over on a loop.
Hank opened his front door and stood there gaping at the extraordinary machine, its exhaust pipe belching out thick gouts of red smoke, a supernatural glow surrounding it.
The driver's door swung back and a figure snapped to its feet. Whoever was on the passenger's side did the same. Then two of the most objectionable things he'd ever seen walked up his drive. They waved. Hank waved back, in a comical 'Oh my God, look what’s just turned up on my doorstep!' sort of way.
"Hello Hank," said the first.
"We're back!" said the second.
But it wasn't until they came right up to him that Hank mouthed a silent hello in return. And promptly passed out right there in his hallway.